SQUATTER FOUND TODAY

[Alan 1,273]

While at John's today, digging out more of the Bolen Stash, we heard a noise from an old caravan which

had been partly crushed by a tree brought down in a storm a few years ago.

 

This caravan had been used to store furniture etc and was almost full and very difficult to see inside due

to being covered with undergrowth.  After calling and getting no answer I took a few random flash photo's,

not being able to see much at all, and managed to get a ( not too clear ) picture of the culprit.

 

 

The only way we could get this person to emerge, threats to call the police etc had no effect, was to offer

him a cup of tea.  This did the trick and he was out instantly, covered with cobwebs and probably bugs too.

 

Asked how he got here, guessing he was an illegal immigrant, he said he had stowed away in a red sprinter

van which has been seen nearby on a few occasions recently.

 

We eventually sent him on his way, but he threatened to return saying that he liked exploring at John's, even

though all of the red stuff has gone.

 

 

 

[pmackellow 2,738]

He does look vaguely familiar...

[Triumph66 1,256]

Thanks God the Bolens are safe in another part of the country!

These immigrants are getting more and more Bolshie these days mauranding as pickers and already have adapted to the English life style of partaking to scolding tea. Shocking! I hope you have recorded the illegal's registration number to the appropriate authorities; I.e. Nigel Farage?

[Stormin 4,458]

Very dubious looking character.

[the showman 4,074]

Now i know what its like to go pot holeing, there was some of the biggest spiders i have ever seen in there and im sure there was something else watching me.

At least we know theres only furniture in there and no red bits but it did settle my curiosity

[Stormin 4,458]

I got septicaemia from a spider bite.

[Alan 1,273]

Very dubious looking character.

I agree.  John and I were relieved when we finally sent him packing.

[Ian 2,417]

Your lucky you managed to get him out so quickly, I guess he didn't know he's "rights" as a squatter or would of been in there for at least 6 months

[slf-uk 914]

Very good of Chris to take one for the team I wondered what was in the caravan and thought it might be worth exploring, but I really hate spiders.

 

Iain

[HeadExam 1,783]

I think what you have there is a Red-throated Loon, the smallest of the loons, the Red-throated Loon breeds at high latitudes in North America and Eurasia. It is distinctive among loons not only in size, but also in behavior, vocalizations, locomotion, and other aspects of life history.

[Alan 1,273]

I think what you have there is a Red-throated Loon, the smallest of the loons, the Red-throated Loon breeds at high latitudes in North America and Eurasia. It is distinctive among loons not only in size, but also in behavior, vocalizations, locomotion, and other aspects of life history.

How dare you talk about our Chris like that. Anyway, he only has two legs, not the usual eight. On second thoughts, at the speed he shot out of the caravan when we mentioned tea, maybe he did have more than two. And he likes Red.

[HeadExam 1,783]

How dare you talk about our Chris like that. Anyway, he only has two legs, not the usual eight. On second thoughts, at the speed he shot out of the caravan when we mentioned tea, maybe he did have more than two. And he likes Red.

The Loon is a magnificent and amazing creature, Loons of all varieties only have two legs, evens those that walk upright

[Chris 642]

I would have just set fire to it.

 

 

 

After Chris had safely got out after finding my front loader forks

[the showman 4,074]

I would have just set fire to it.

 

 

 

After Chris had safely got out after finding my front loader forks

We spent an hour chopping down brambles to get to a shed down the bottom only to find it contained 2 push bikes 2 mowers and a paraffin heater, but NO forks, didn't see them in the caravan either only a load of old furniture

[Chris 642]

Thanks Chris

 

Wonder where the forks are then?? 

[Stormin 4,458]

In the cutlery drawer?

[Alan 1,273]

While at John's again today, I decided to inspect the crushed caravan hoping I wouldn't find another squatter.

 

No strange noise's from the interior this time, but a very strong horrible smell drifting out from the door.

Wondering if our last unwanted visitor had murdered a fellow squatter and that we might have a decomposing

body to deal with, we rang 999.

 

We were told not to touch anything and that the South of England's top forensic expert would be sent ASAP.

 

He arrived faster than ASAP and I just had time for a photo before he disappeared into the depth's of the caravan.

 

 

He emerged a short while later and reported that the only dead body's he could find were those of spiders and bugs

which had probably been trodden on by our previous squatter, and that the smell was most likely from the damp and

mouldy cushions, books, furniture and car seats which had been stored in the caravan for years. The leaking roof

did not help.

 

He also said that he had discovered something else buried behind the furniture.  When asked what it was we were told

that we would have to wait until a full forensic examination had been made, and that a report would be made on MoM

possibly by Thursday.

 

So, if any members are interested, keep looking.

 

Alan.

 

 

 

[nigel 1,876]

I know what he found , clue, a worsel song, ime a -------- plu

[the showman 4,074]

As you see i had to get back into the dark depths of the caravan as last time I spotted something buried behind all the furniture and I wanted another look.

Suitable dressed I ventured in and started pulling out the furniture and stuff and found the machine the only problem was the roof had come down and i had to jack it up to move the said item.

Finally I managed to get it out into the daylight so here's some photos

[Stormin 4,458]

That's a good find.   I'd like that.

[the showman 4,074]

Its a chicken plucking machine dating from 1933 we think, it's powered by a 1 HP Stuart Turner water cooled engine.

The engine turns over and the machine all rotates so hopefully won't take long to fire it up

[Stormin 4,458]

Any of your neighbours got chickens?   If you get it going they wont have for long.

[HeadExam 1,783]

I like it too, and if I ever need my comb plucked, I'm going to buy one.

[meadowfield 1,900]

Another nice find!

[pmackellow 2,738]

That's a nice find Mr Showman